Herbal Love Stories

Herbal Love Stories: A Journey Through History, Self-Care, and Plant Allies

In the quiet of February, when the earth is still dreaming of spring, we find a unique opportunity to reflect, replenish, and reconnect. While Valentine’s Day dominates the month with its narrow definition of love, we choose to celebrate love more expansively: love for self, love for our communities, and love for the earth. This radical act of self-love and care is more than a personal indulgence; it’s a form of resistance against systems that demand perpetual production, undervalue rest, and separate us from the natural world.

Taking time for ourselves—whether in stillness, through ritual, or by immersing in the natural world—flies in the face of a society that often values our output over our well-being. The pressure to be constantly busy can feel overwhelming, and for many of us, taking rest can feel indulgent, or worse, undeserved. But the truth is, slowing down is a necessary act of restoration.

I remember a time not too long ago when I found myself completely drained, moving from task to task with little regard for my own energy. There were some days were I felt as if I rolled out of bed and into my office chair. It wasn’t until I stepped back, walked into my garden, and let the scent of the herbs fill my senses that I felt my body relax. The lavender soothed my nerves, the rosemary sharpened my mind, and the calendula reminded me of the beauty in simplicity. That moment was a wake-up call. Rest isn’t something to earn—it’s something we inherently deserve.  I welcome my long herbal baths on the sabbath each week. By carving out time to reconnect with myself and the earth, I realized that I was not abandoning my responsibilities, but rather refueling so I could show up more fully for my family, my work, and my community.

Herbs have long been our companions in this journey, carrying centuries of wisdom and offering their gifts of healing and connection. From ancient rituals to modern remedies, these plant allies remind us that love—true, transformative love—begins with nurturing ourselves.

The History of Love Herbs

Throughout history, Black, African, and Indigenous communities have turned to plants to celebrate and deepen their understanding of love and wellness. These herbs were not just symbols but tools for healing, connection, and transformation.

• Rose (Rosa spp.): Revered by African and Middle Eastern cultures, the rose has long symbolized love and beauty. In North African traditions, rose water has been used in spiritual ceremonies, as a cooling tonic, and for emotional healing. Its petals soothe the heart, ease grief, and inspire a sense of harmony and self-compassion.

• Lavender (Lavandula spp.): Known as a sacred herb among many Indigenous communities, lavender was used in smudging rituals to cleanse and calm the spirit. Its calming energy promotes emotional resilience, a quality deeply rooted in the survival and joy of Black and Indigenous peoples.

• Hibiscus (Hibiscus sabdariffa): Originating from Africa, hibiscus has been cherished for its vibrant flowers and tart flavor. It is a key ingredient in beverages like “sorrel” in the Caribbean and “bissap” in West Africa, symbolizing vitality and community connection. In our home, we drink sorrel year-round, but especially during the winter season. Sorrel is prepared with healing herbs and spices like clove, allspice, lemon, and ginger—a nourishing winter beverage embraced by many islanders. Rich in antioxidants, hibiscus tea cools the body, supports heart health, and opens the heart to joy.

• Damiana (Turnera diffusa): Used by Indigenous communities in Central and South America, damiana is known for its mood-enhancing properties. It reconnects us to pleasure, sensuality, and the joy of being in our bodies—a reclamation of our right to exist fully and freely.

• Hawthorn (Crataegus spp.): Among Celtic traditions, hawthorn trees were sacred, symbolizing protection and love. For African diasporic herbalists, hawthorn supports heart health both physically and emotionally, helping to fortify the spirit in the face of systemic struggles.

Self-Love and Self-Care as Resistance

In a world that often equates our worth with productivity, pausing to care for ourselves is a radical act. It is a reclaiming of our humanity and our right to exist in a state of wholeness. For Black farmers, healers, and communities, this act carries even deeper significance. It’s a resistance to historical and ongoing systems of oppression that strip away rest, joy, and connection to the land.

For me, self-care is about more than just herbal teas and baths—it’s about intentionally creating time to nourish my spirit. I find peace in walking through my garden, running my hands over the herbs that I’ve nurtured from seed. The scent of lavender clings to my fingertips, the bright petals of calendula bring a sense of warmth even in winter. These plants are my allies, reminding me that rest and care are not luxuries but necessities.

This year, my family made the decision to truly embrace rest. For the first time in a long time, we unplugged from the world and plugged into each other. We took time away from the demands of the farm, the business, and the constant hum of responsibilities. And not only did we do this for ourselves—we extended this period of rest to members of our team as well. In a fast-moving world, it’s easy to feel guilt around rest and self-care, as if we always need to be producing, doing, achieving. But the truth is, we are all better people when we take time to nourish ourselves. We show up better for our families, our communities, and the work that calls to us. Self-care is not selfish—it is necessary for the sustainability of our bodies, minds, and spirits.

By tending to ourselves with the support of plant allies, we not only heal individually but also contribute to the collective healing of our communities. When we care for ourselves, we show up more fully for the people and causes we love. We model what it means to live in reciprocity—giving and receiving care in equal measure.

Plant Allies for Self-Love and Wellness

1. Rose: A gentle heart-opener, rose reminds us to embrace tenderness and compassion for ourselves. Try adding dried rose petals to your morning tea, infusing them in honey for a sweet, heart-warming treat, or making a facial steam with rose petals to nourish the skin and spirit.

2. Lavender: Known for its calming properties, lavender helps us release tension and invite peace into our lives. Use lavender by making a sleep sachet to tuck under your pillow, adding it to bath salts for a relaxing soak, or infusing it in oil to use as a soothing body moisturizer. 

   

3. Chamomile (Matricaria chamomilla): Celebrated in African and Indigenous traditions as a calming and protective herb, chamomile encourages rest and helps us release worry. Enjoy chamomile as a nightly tea, create a calming chamomile-infused oil for gentle massages, or make a soothing chamomile steam to relieve stress and tension.

4. Calendula (Calendula officinalis): Used in traditional African remedies, calendula uplifts the spirit and supports skin healing. Infuse calendula in olive oil to create a nourishing skin balm, add petals to a warm bath for a rejuvenating soak, or brew calendula tea to support overall well-being. 

   

5. Citrus Fruits: Winter is citrus season, and it’s no coincidence. Citrus, such as navel oranges, Meyer lemons, mandarins, and blood oranges, bursts with vitamin C, supporting our immune system and brightening our spirits. Try making citrus-infused water, adding fresh citrus zest to teas and baked goods, or using citrus peels in homemade herbal vinegar for cleaning and energizing spaces.

DIY Herbal Remedies for Self-Love

1. Heart-Opening Rose and Hibiscus Tea

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon dried rose petals

• 1 tablespoon dried hibiscus flowers

• 1 teaspoon dried chamomile flowers (optional)

• 1 cup hot water

Instructions:

1. Combine the rose petals, hibiscus, and chamomile in a teapot or heatproof jar.

2. Pour hot water over the herbs and let steep for 10 minutes.

3. Strain and enjoy.

Sip this tea mindfully, reflecting on the love and care you deserve. The vibrant red hue of hibiscus reminds us of the passion and vitality within us.

2. Lavender and Calendula Herbal Bath Soak

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Epsom salts

• 1/2 cup dried lavender buds

• 1/2 cup dried calendula petals

• 10 drops lavender essential oil

• 5 drops sweet orange essential oil

Instructions:

1. Mix the Epsom salts, lavender buds, and calendula petals in a large bowl.

2. Add the essential oils and stir until evenly distributed.

3. Store the mixture in an airtight jar.

To use, add 1/2 cup of the bath soak to warm bathwater. As you soak, imagine the plants enveloping you in their healing energy, washing away stress and restoring balance.

Love Beyond the Self: Community and Earth

As we cultivate love for ourselves, it naturally spills over into our communities and the earth. This February, consider how you can extend your self-care practices outward:

• Community Care: Share herbal remedies with loved ones or host a gathering to make teas and salves together. Connection is one of the most powerful forms of healing.

• Earth Care: Plant seeds, tend to your garden, or support local farmers. Loving the earth is an act of gratitude for the abundance it provides.

A Season of Transition

February marks a turning point, as the stillness of winter gives way to the renewal of spring. Just as the earth prepares for growth, we too can use this time to nurture the seeds of love and care within us. By honoring our relationship with plants and embracing self-care as a radical act, we affirm our connection to the cycles of nature and the power of community.

Let this month be a reminder: love is not confined to a single day or a single person. It is a force that moves through us, connecting us to the land, to each other, and to ourselves. May your journey with these plant allies inspire not just healing, but a deeper sense of belonging and joy.

What acts of self-love and community care are you embracing this season? Share your thoughts in the comments or let us know if you’ve tried these herbal remedies. Let’s inspire one another to grow and thrive together.